Nightmare
by blindingdarkness15
Summary: Olivia is trapped in an abusive relationship. If she tries to get away, she'll lose her son. So she keeps it quiet. But clues are beginning to attract the eyes of her partner Elliot, and he's worried. EO COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Okay, I am getting so sick of trying to write a story, end up rereading it and seeing that it totally sucks. This is my fourth attempt at writing one of these stories, and I am hoping that this one won't fall through like the other ones.

**Summary-** This isn't like she thought it would be. Marriage is supposed to be a happy thing. That's not what happened for Olivia Benson though. She'd leave him in a second, but she'd lose everything, including her job. She thinks that since no one knows, she shouldn't let anyone know. However, someone else does know, and he's beginning to worry.

X – X – X – X – X

Olivia sat on the couch in her small Manhattan apartment. Her three year old son, Jeffery, was curled up asleep next to her.

Olivia glanced at the clock, knowing she'd be disgusted when she saw it. It was 12:17 in the morning. Anthony never worked this late, so she knew that he was out at some bar watching strippers perform lap dances drunkenly.

She gently picked up Jeffery, trying not to wake him up. She walked slowly to his room. The walls were decorated with train wallpaper.

She gingerly laid him down in his bed. She pulled the covers up to his chin, and kissed his forehead. As she was walking out, she heard his voice. "Mommy?"

"What is it honey?" she said, pacing back in.

"Where's Daddy?" he asked, his eyes extremely large with sadness.

Olivia pushed his short brown hair off his forehead. "Daddy had to work late. You'll see him tomorrow. Go to sleep," she said, kissing him once more. He smiled sleepily before he turned over.

Olivia smiled as she headed back into the living room. She rolled her eyes as she heard him coming to the door. She groaned as she saw him stagger in.

"Hey Olivia," he slurred.

"How was the night at the strip club?" Olivia asked.

She saw his features harden in anger. "Since when do you boss me around?" he said, walking towards her.

"Does it really matter? You know, I'm only asking because there's a little boy in that room who has no idea why his father "works" so much. He looks up to you, and if he finds out you're a drunk, he won't anymore. It'll break his heart," Olivia said.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Sure you are," Olivia muttered as she began to walk towards their bedroom.

"How dare you talk to me like that!" He exclaimed, following her.

"Watch me," Olivia said as she pulled on her black sweatpants and white tank top.

Anthony walked up to her and slapped her across the face. Olivia stepped back, placing her hand on her red cheek.

"What? You scared? Leave, then," Anthony mocked.

"Oh, believe me, I would," Olivia hissed.

"So why don't you?" Anthony provoked.

Olivia stopped and dropped her head. "I can't," she whispered.

"Oh, that's right. You'd leave Jeffery with me because of your job, and me, being in charge of the all police departments in New York City could fire you like that. SO, you stay, and you get to keep your job and your son. Fair deal?" Anthony said.

Olivia just stood there. Anthony's face contorted with anger once more. "I said… fair deal? Answer me when I talk to you!" he said, grabbing hold of her shoulders.

But Olivia just couldn't bring herself to say yes. Saying yes would be giving in, but she couldn't say no. When Anthony realized this, he wrapped his hands around her neck and slammed her up against the wall.

"Olivia, you know I don't like to lose my patience. Answer me. The little boy down the hall will be left with me if you decide to leave. Even if you do, who are you going to stay with? You don't have any family, and you really don't have friends. You'll lose your job, and have to do something else that you don't want to do, right? So, I take it you'll be staying with me?" he said tightening his grip as hard as possible.

Olivia nodded wearily. "Good," Anthony said, letting go of her neck. Olivia dropped to her knees as her ran her fingers over her sore neck. She looked at Anthony as he walked into the bathroom. She thought she was tough, but yet she was able to be threatened and blackmailed by this man. She stood up slowly and grabbed a pillow. She was going to sleep on the couch tonight.

As she placed the pillow on the couch and laid down, she began to wonder about how she managed to fall in love with this man.

When she first met him, she was 33. She couldn't exactly remember how they met, but when she first saw him, she knew she was in love. Of course, so did every other female police officer.

Anthony Jacobs was handsome with his brownish blond hair that hung in front of his face. He had piercing blue eyes, and an amazing body.

When he proposed, she was happy. But somebody else was not. Elliot had just gotten over his divorce with Kathy, and he made it clear that he really did not like Anthony. But, then again, Elliot never liked any of her boyfriends.

As Olivia turned over and tried to fall asleep, she began to wonder if this was all worth it.

X – X – X – X – X

At work the next day, they received a call about a single mother who was raped and murdered at her house. The only witness? Her four year old daughter.

After seeing the crime scene, they decided someone needed to talk to her. "We need someone who can talk to kids," Captain said, looking into the room where the tiny girl sat coloring. Munch and Fin backed out right away. "Liv, Elliot, why don't you both go in there, see who she responds best to?" Captain said.

They both nodded as they walked in. "You try it first," Olivia said, giving Elliot a push in the back.

Elliot walked over and sat down in the small kiddy chair. "What are you drawing?"

The girl, obviously startled by Elliot, placed her arms over the picture. Elliot turned back to Olivia, who shrugged.

"What's your name?" Elliot asked, trying again. The little girl just stared back at him. Elliot stood up, beginning to get annoyed.

Olivia saw this. She walked over and sat in the spot Elliot just had. "That's a really pretty picture. Can you tell me what it is?" Olivia tried.

"Thank you. See, this is me, and this is mommy. You can keep it," the girl said handing her the crudely drawn picture.

Olivia looked at the stick figures on it. The obviously larger one was dripping blood, and the smaller one had tears coming out of her eyes. Olivia handed it to Elliot.

"Can you tell me what your name is, sweetheart?" Olivia asked.

"Kristy," the girl said meekly.

"Kristy? That's a very nice name," Olivia said.

The girl smiled like she was proud. Olivia and Kristy talked for a while, and Olivia managed to get out a small description of what the man looked like.

When Olivia realized that that was all they were going to get, she placed her hand on the little girl's hand and said, "Kristy, you have been such a big help. Thank you so much."

Kristy looked at Olivia and smiled. Her smile then changed. "Why is your neck blue?" she asked. When Elliot heard this, he thought the little girl was crazy for a minute.

Olivia placed her hand on her neck softly, feeling the tenderness of the small bruises. "Oh, that's, uh, from my pen," Olivia said as she got up. As she did, Elliot cocked his head, seeing the odd-shaped bruise on her neck.

As he looked more, he realized that it was the shape of a hand.

X – X – X – X – X

Whew. A breathless rush of writing. I hope you liked it, and if you did, please tell me.


	2. Chapter 2

Wowee! I had absolutely no idea that I would get such a massive (and I use the word lightly) response for this story! I don't think I've ever gotten that many reviews in one day! YAY! I know many of you were confused with the whole thing, but this will be an Olivia Elliot story. It will start out very subtly, mostly with a one-sided Elliot. But it will grow larger and larger. Wahoo!

**Summary-** This isn't like she thought it would be. Marriage is supposed to be a happy thing. That's not what happened for Olivia Benson though. She'd leave him in a second, but she'd lose everything, including her job. She thinks that since no one knows, she shouldn't let anyone know. However, someone else does know, and he's beginning to worry.

X – X – X – X – X

As Olivia walked out of the room, she readjusted the collar of her white turtle neck sweater. Almost as if she was psychic, she felt a strong grip grab her shoulder.

She rolled her eyes and turned around. "Elliot, what is it?" she said, staring into the clear blue eyes of her partner.

"You've got one funny pen there," he said sarcastically.

"Just drop it, El," she said, trying to turn around again.

"No, I won't. That wasn't your pen. What is that?" he said motioning to her neck.

"It's just a small bruise," she lied.

"Small? Olivia, do you think I'm an idiot?" Elliot said as a young girl came in and got Kristy.

"It's kind of hard not to," she muttered.

"Ha ha, very funny. I'm serious. Is that from Anthony?" he asked.

Olivia gave up. "Anthony and I got into a little argument last night, and he lightly slapped me," she said.

"Enough, okay Olivia? You make everything seem smaller than it is. That bruise is not from a slap. It's shaped like a hand," Elliot said, watching the two girls leave. Elliot walked over and shut the door.

"Olivia, he tried to choke you, didn't he?" he said softly.

Olivia stared at him from a minute. "Anthony came home at 12:30 last night, wasted like hell. He'd had his daily trip to the strip club before he decided to come home. And he got mad, because I yelled at him. When I didn't answer him, he threw me up again a wall," she mumbled.

"Why do you let him?" Elliot asked.

She placed her head into her hand. "I have to stay Elliot,"

"No, no you don't," Elliot said.

She dropped her hand. "Yes…I do. If I leave, he'll take Jeffery and my job away from me. I can't lose both," she said.

Elliot had nothing to say to this. Just then, they were interrupted by Fin. "Are you guys planning on joining us today?"

They nodded and followed him slowly. Olivia tried to pull herself together again as Elliot cursed at himself for letting her go through this.

X – X – X – X – X

Around 3:30 in the afternoon, New York City Police Sergeant Anthony Ackerson decided to pay a visit to his wife and her colleagues at the Special Victims Unit.

Since he was somewhat sober and hung hangovers well, he managed to keep his job from day to day. As he walked into the building, everyone greeted him nervously yet happily. He made his way to where Olivia's desk was. When she saw him, she stood up and made her way over to him, but with no smile across her face, almost as if she was being tortured by this.

"Hi, honey," he said planting a kiss on her cheek. After they separated, he was greeted by the cold faces of John Munch, Odafin Tutuola, and Elliot Stabler, his least favorite out of all of them.

"Hey guys," he said to them, placing a fake smile on his face. He was answered by three forced responses. He turned back to Olivia. "Can I talk to you alone?" he said.

She nodded and took him outside, seeing Elliot watch her closely. When they were out, she asked, "What's up?"

"Olivia, baby, I'm sorry, but I can't be home tonight. I've got a dinner meeting," he said, lying through his teeth.

Olivia nodded hurt. "Okay," she said. He wrapped his arms around her.

"I promise, I'll be there tomorrow," he said, playing with her hair. But Olivia easily recognized this lie. See, he said this every night, and he hadn't been home before 11 in about three months. She kissed her on the forehead before saying that he needed to get back to work. She waved goodbye as he walked out and around the building. She watched the spot where he once stood, wondering if someone who actually loved her would ever stand there.

X – X – X – X – X

As Elliot drove a very quiet Olivia to her house, he wasn't surprised to see no car in the driveway. Instead of just stopping in front of the sidewalk like he normally did before he headed to his apartment, he pulled into the driveway.

Olivia turned to him confused. "You've been alone too much. You need someone else than a toddler to talk to," he said.

She cocked her head. "Jeffery makes for very good therapy. He says yes to everything," she said.

Elliot groaned as he stepped out of his car. "You don't have to be doing this Elliot," she said as she fished around for her house keys.

"Yes, I do. Besides, you aren't trying to stop me," he said.

She blushed as she shoved the key into the lock. "Wait, something's wrong here. Where's your son?" Elliot said.

"Oh, Jeffery is spending the weekend at his grandparents' house. Anthony dropped him off this morning," she said as she hung her coat up.

Elliot nodded. "What time does Anthony usually get home at?" he asked.

"Around 12, why?" she asked.

"Well, let's see. You're home alone with your partner. Your partner is divorced, and your jealous husband is coming home and this husband doesn't like your partner. What's more is that various rumors and accusations have been made public by your partner's ex-wife claiming that you and your partner had an affair together. I'll bet he'll be really happy to see me here," he said.

Olivia smiled. "Want something to drink?" she asked, opening the fridge.

"Got any beer?" he asked.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'm living in a house with a three year old and an alcoholic. No, I don't have beer," she said.

"Anything's fine," he said as he sat down on the green couch. She tossed him a bottle of Coke.

She sat down next to him. "There's another reason you came, isn't there?" she asked softly.

Elliot shook his head. "No, why?" he asked.

"Knowing you, you'd keep on this divorce issue persistently until you either had a breakdown or figured it out. SO, I figured you came over to do that," She responded.

Elliot shook his head. "I just figured you'd want some company. Besides, it's not like I have a life anymore," he said.

Olivia placed her hand on his knee. "Elliot, I know losing Kathy and the kids was hard for you, but, you have a life," she said.

"Name one thing that I do that is not related to my job," Elliot said. Olivia was speechless. "Exactly," Elliot said.

"You're there for me," Olivia thought, but decided not to share that with him.

X – X – X – X – X

They had ended up watching TV until Olivia fell asleep. Elliot soon fell asleep after. When he woke up again, he wasn't exactly sure of where he was. He looked down and saw Olivia asleep on his lap.

"Hello Detective Stabler," someone said from beside him. It was Anthony. He was drunk…big time. But he was mad…oh, he was pissed off. Olivia soon woke up. She looked and saw him. "Shit," she said to herself sitting up. She thought she'd seen mad people, but she was wrong…very wrong.

X – X – X – X – X

Hah, that's all for today folks. I want to thank my 24, yes, 24! reviewers. So, please give that same amount this time!


	3. Chapter 3

Oh my freaking god. When I wrote this story, I had absolutely no idea that the response would be this big. I have 59 reviews for 2 chapters! 2! Wow. Many of you said that you didn't like Anthony hurting Olivia, but that's what the whole story is about. Believe me, I don't like writing that either. It pains me as well. Oh well.

**Summary-** This isn't like she thought it would be. Marriage is supposed to be a happy thing. That's not what happened for Olivia Benson though. She'd leave him in a second, but she'd lose everything, including her job. She thinks that since no one knows, she shouldn't let anyone know. However, someone else does know, and he's beginning to worry.

X – X – X – X – X

Olivia shot up as Elliot rose to his feet. "Uh, hi Anthony," Elliot said cautiously. His response was a strong right hook to the face.

Elliot went flying across the hardwood floor as Olivia jumped up and tried to calm Anthony down.

"Honey, leave Elliot alone," she pleaded.

Anthony turned to her, then look to Elliot, who had an apparent bruise forming on his cheek. "This worthless piece of garbage doesn't deserve it. He thinks he can come in here with you? I bet he forced himself in," Anthony spat. He began to make his way towards Elliot.

"Anthony, no. It- he- I forced him to come here," Olivia said, saying the last thing her mind would think of.

Her husband froze. He turned to her. "What did you say?"

"It's my fault. Elliot had nothing to do with it. I made him come in," Olivia said, dropping her head.

Anthony face scrunched up in thought before it relaxed. He helped Elliot up. "Sorry to have to do that to you, Detective Stabler. But if you wouldn't mind, I think it's time Olivia and I had some alone time," he muttered.

Elliot opened his mouth to protest, but Olivia gave him a look saying 'get out'. Elliot grabbed his coat quietly and left, regretting what he was doing every step of the way. As he stepped in to his car, he felt the guilt begin to eat away at him.

Olivia watched the door shut as her last hope walked out. True, she wanted Elliot to help somehow, but she wasn't willing to him in danger as well. So, better it be this than that, right?

Wrong. As soon as the door closed, Anthony began to shout. Olivia was surprised that the neighbors never complained about the screaming at 12:30 in the morning.

Too bad she decided to let her mind wander away like that. Next thing she knew she was the cold hardwood ground and Anthony was on top of her slapping her.

Because he was angry **and** drunk, Olivia wasn't sure what he was going to do. She felt the bruises being pushed as Anthony's hand found its way around her neck. He then whacked her head against the ground. The room started to spin around her. When he repeated it, she knew she was going out of it. So she let go, and embraced the darkness as it consumed her.

X – X – X – X – X

When Olivia reopened her eyes, she was on the couch instead of the ground. Her head throbbed as tried to sit up. She steadied herself as she hobbled into the kitchen. She glanced at the clock and saw it was about 1:15. So she'd been unconscious for 30 minutes, and Anthony had just gotten tired and went to bed. Figures.

She needed to talk to Elliot though. Especially concerning what happened. So she dialed his number on her cell phone, hoping he wouldn't be upset with her calling him at this hour.

A sleepy voice answered, "Stabler."

"Elliot," she whispered.

Suddenly this voice was awake. "Olivia. Are you okay?"

She smiled to herself. "A little sore, that's it," she mumbled.

"What'd he do?" Elliot said.

"Nothing bad. The reason why I'm calling you is that, well, I'm begging you not to say anything," she begged.

"What? Are you nuts?" Elliot erupted.

"No. Elliot, think about it. If you say anything, I'll have to deal with it," she sighed.

Elliot stared at his wall for while. "But I can't just let it go," he said.

"Yes, you can and you will," Olivia said.

"Okay Detective Benson. Is that all you needed to talk about?" he asked.

"Yes, Detective Stabler, that is it," she said, sensing the smile on his face.

"Well, then, I guess that I will see you and speak to you tomorrow," Elliot said.

"I guess so," Olivia said laughing. They said goodbye and Olivia hung up.

She placed her phone back on the table, and made her way towards the bedroom. She was exhausted, and that was the only reason why she was sleeping there. So as she climbed into bed, Anthony woke up.

"So, I take we won't be having anymore visitors?" he asked sleepily.

Olivia bit her lip. "No, no more visitors," she said as she laid down. As she stared up at the ceiling, show wondered how long this was going to go on. Forever? NO, she couldn't last that long. It was either until something large happened, someone found out, or until she couldn't take it anymore and killed him. Olivia smiled at that idea, knowing she'd never do it. Hearing him scream for once. Watching him be helpless. That was ridiculous. But hey, a person can dream, can't they?

X – X – X – X – X

Wow, a totally pointless chapter. Sorry about that, but I thought it'd be better to put that conversation in a chapter but not have Olivia and Elliot see each other again. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope that all of you will review like you have been doing. Going to my account and seeing that I've gotten 20 new reviews in a matter of a day is really exciting. So, keep that reviewing up, and I'll keep the updates coming.


	4. Chapter 4

Wow. I had no idea that I would end up updating this soon, but I felt like I needed to clear a few things up.

1.) Many of you told me that Elliot would not have left Olivia just like that. I know, and I should have written that. Elliot leaving is supposed to be part of the story. You'll see in this chapter.

2.) I know Elliot wouldn't have taken a punch like that, but you have to realize that Anthony is the New York City Police Department Sergeant. That means that he's the superior boss. Elliot can't punch his boss. Sorry, not happening.

3.) Yes, I also know I have spelling errors and grammatical errors. But, I write to write, not to be graded. I do that and worry about that in school. I do enough in 8th grade. I don't push myself really hard here. If you can understand it, I'm perfectly fine with that.

Now that that's cleared up, on with the story.

**Summary-** This isn't like she thought it would be. Marriage is supposed to be a happy thing. That's not what happened for Olivia Benson though. She'd leave him in a second, but she'd lose everything, including her job. She thinks that since no one knows, she shouldn't let anyone know. However, someone else does know, and he's beginning to worry.

X – X – X – X – X

Elliot felt his heart shrivel up when she didn't deny being hurt. He swore to himself silently as she kept talking. He never should have listened to her. Come one, was he an idiot?

He left his partner/friend in a house with her drunk, extremely angry husband who is known to abuse her. "Nice going, Elliot. What a great friend," he thought to himself.

He agreed with Olivia not to tell anyone about it. When she was reassured about it, he hung up and planned on how to tell Captain Cragen about it. He wasn't lying to Olivia…he just wasn't being totally honest.

As he laid back against his dilapidated pillow, he began to think about everything. Olivia was one of the strongest people he'd ever met. She was always there. She never complained, he had rarely seen her cry unless it was something huge, and if she was hurt, she'd never showed it.

But yet, she was letting some little weasel torture her. He was manipulating her like no tomorrow, and she was putting up with him. True, Elliot would do anything for his job, and if it was between leaving and the well-being of one of his kids, he'd put up with it.

Olivia, though, was going through more than anyone should have to. You want to see one person who had had a crappy life? Look up and go see Olivia one day.

After all she had been through as a child, she was going through even worse as an adult in marriage. If you have a horrible childhood, don't you hope for a better marriage? You know, someone who'll love you, someone who'll care for you, and someone who will understand everything about that.

Elliot turned on his side. Who was he kidding? He knew nothing about love. His wife left him for a co-worker. One day, everything was fine and peachy/ Next thing he knew, she had shoved the divorce papers in face, along with custody papers for the kids.

So, in a matter of a week, he went from a happy father and husband living in a nice Queens house to a single man living in an apartment in the Bronx. That was one eventful week.

The sad part was that he had never seen it coming. He should have realized that something was coming upon him, but yet, he didn't, and for that, he felt stupid.

He closed his eyes, promising himself he would tell Captain tomorrow.

X – X – X – X – X

When Olivia arrived at work the next day, she was greeted by grunts from Fin and Munch. She looked over at her partners desk, which had a coat, but not Elliot.

"Where's El?" she asked.

Fin pointed to Cragen's door without looking up. "He's been there for about a half hour," he said. Olivia bit her lip, hoping this was not what she believed it was.

"So you're positive?" Cragen asked, standing up.

"Captain, I was right there. I have that bruise to prove it," Elliot said motioning to his face.

Cragen stared at Elliot for a minute. "Okay, if you are positive that Anthony is doing this, then I will give a call to the general police department. Other than that, there's not much I can do."

"What? How can there not be more?" Elliot said.

"Elliot, I know you're worried and everything. But we can't go and take drastic measures like this. Also, he's both our bosses. I can't go and yell at my boss. I'm sorry. That's all that can be done," Cragen said shrugging.

"But-" Elliot started.

Cragen put his hand up. "I said," he said lowering his gaze, "that's all that can be done. Now get back to work on the Morrison case," he said pointing to the door.

Elliot sighed and left, feeling just as guilty as he had when he came in. Only now, he had to deal with a very angry scowling Olivia.

"Liv," he said.

Olivia shook her head. "No, I don't even want to hear it. I asked you a favor and you deliberately ignored it. Thanks," she said.

She stormed off in the opposite direction as Fin and Munch gave Elliot looks. "What?" Elliot said.

Fin shook his head as Munch snickered softly. What a great way to start a day.

X – X – X – X – X

Well, that's that. I kind of have a let down disease after the reviews from last chapter. I went from 28 reviews in the first chapter, up to 32 in the second, and then fell to 16 last chapter. Although I am thrilled with getting 16 reviews in one chapter, I really think that if I 32 in one chapter, I could get 32 for everyone. So, if you read, please review.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, sorry about the wait. I had almost a full chapter waiting for wonderful updating… and then my whole computer crashed, deleting everything that I had on it. This means, I had to start from the beginning on everything. Whoopee! Anyway, before I begin, I want to thank all my reviewers (and I have many…very many. Try 27 per chapter!) Thanks for reviewing, and don't forget to review for this one!

**Summary-** This isn't like she thought it would be. Marriage is supposed to be a happy thing. That's not what happened for Olivia Benson though. She'd leave him in a second, but she'd lose everything, including her job. She thinks that since no one knows, she shouldn't let anyone know. However, someone else does know, and he's beginning to worry.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

Olivia ran, just ran. She sprinted out the door, pounded down the steps, ignoring the strange looks of the other people working in the department. She didn't care. She didn't care about anything. All she cared was getting out of the vicinity of that…that betrayer.

When Olivia was about a half a mile away, she jogged to halt. As she placed her hands on her knees to catch her breath, she felt a small tear in the crook of her eye make its way down her cheek. She stood up and began to walk. He had lied to her. Elliot; the man she supposedly could trust with her life, had deliberately gone against what she had asked him and told people.

And the worst part about it was it wouldn't be long before Anthony found out that he had told Captain Cragen about it. If he were to find out, it'd be worse for her. Did Elliot think about that? No, Elliot never thought about anything but himself. If he thought it was right, it was…end of story. But unfortunately Elliot didn't think that by telling someone, he was doing more damage than he thought he was preventing.

As she trudged up the stairs of the small to the apartment building, she remembered that Jeffery was going to be coming home today. Well, at least that was something to look forward to.

After she locked the door, she picked up the phone and dialed Cragen's number.

"New York Special Victims Unit, Captain Cragen speaking," he answered flatly.

"Cap, it's Olivia," she said as she began to twirl the cord in her fingers.

"Liv, everything okay? You just sort of, busted out," he asked.

She smiled at his concern. "Yeah, I just needed to get out. I was calling to let you know that I won't be coming back to work for the rest of the day. I'll be in tomorrow," she explained.

"Hey, no problem. Whatever you need to do, do it," he answered.

"Thanks Cap," she admitted.

"Liv, Elliot told me about what's going on, and I just want to make sure that you know that we have your back. Although this is probably one of the strangest cases I've heard of, we've still got your back," he said.

Olivia smiled genuinely. After saying good bye, she hung up and walked towards her room. She needed to get rid of all the stress somehow. So, she quickly changed into a pair of track shorts and a tank top and pulled on a pair of sneakers. She was going to run off all the stress.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

Anthony Ackerson sat at his desk with his feet on it. He smiled to himself, knowing he had his wife wrapped around his finger. Everything was going as he had planned it. The child was holding them together, and Olivia was so scared of losing Jeffery that she wouldn't dare speak a word of it at all.

He looked at the wedding picture that sat on his desk. Olivia was in his arms as his chin was resting on his shoulder. He smiled deviously. A knock on his door pulled him down from the clouds.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"It's McDonald," the person answered. Scott McDonald was basically their "secretary". He took phone calls and faxes for them.

"Come in," Anthony said, taking his feet of the desk and adjusting his neck tie.

Scott, who couldn't have been more than 24, walked in meekly. "This just arrived for the Special Victims Unit, sir," he said as he placed the fax on Anthony's desk.

As soon as he heard Special Victims Unit, chills went up his spine and he immediately peered at the picture that was on his desk. He pulled the fax into his hands and thanked Scott. As soon as the adolescent had left, he began to read it. And as soon as he had read the words printed on the paper in black ink, his hands began to shake uncontrollably. She had told someone.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

Olivia went up the stairs. She felt kind of bad that she hadn't been home since around 11:30. She had gone running until about 2. She had to go eat lunch because she felt like she was going to pass out if she didn't. So she grabbed a turkey sandwich and an iced tea at the nearest deli. She sat for a while in the window, slowly sipping the beverage long after the sandwich was gone.

Around 3:30, she got back on her feet and ran again. Now, it was 7:30, and she felt the best she had all day, even though her calves felt like they had been obliterated.

When she peered into the parking lot of the apartment building, she easily saw the Black Accura that Anthony drove. This wasn't like him. He was going to pick up Jeffery after his rounds at the strip club, which meant he wouldn't be home until around midnight. As she walked in, it confused her even more to see that the lights were off. "Hello?" she called.

A loud cry cut the silence. She gasped. She knew her son's voice anywhere. She ran (she runs a lot) towards the room. The light was on. Jeffery was on sitting on his bed. As Olivia walked in the door, she knew something was not right.

She couldn't believe her eyes. How could Anthony do something like this? No matter what he did, he had better know that this was it for Olivia. Olivia was no longer the scared little girl anymore. This…was the last straw.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

Yeah! You guys have no idea how happy I am that I wrote that. Olivia rocks! But you also don't know what happened to Jeffery. Ha! So, please review. The more reviews I get, the more likely I am to update faster. 


	6. Chapter 6

Te he. I'm back faster than many of you thought I would be back. But, I came up with this great, great idea (in a dream of course), and I felt that I needed to post it right away before I forget it.

Yeah, and I knew many of you were pissed off about me saying that the more reviews I get, the faster I would update, and it was kind of bitchy of me. So, sorry to all who were offended. But, I am sticking to my word. I got a lot of reviews, so I am going to update! YAY!

**Summary-** This isn't like she thought it would be. Marriage is supposed to be a happy thing. That's not what happened for Olivia Benson though. She'd leave him in a second, but she'd lose everything, including her job. She thinks that since no one knows, she shouldn't let anyone know. However, someone else does know, and he's beginning to worry.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

Olivia stared, her mouth open and her eyes wide. Her husband, the man that supposedly loved her, promised to stay with her till death did them part, was aiming a gun at their three year old child, who had now begun to scream.

"Anthony, what the hell are you doing?" she shrieked, unable to contain herself.

She stared into his eye, amazed that this was the first night she had actually seen him sober.

He lowered his gaze. "You told someone. That's was against the rules Olivia. Now, you are going to have to pay. People I work with give me dirty looks. It's not too long before the papers find out about it. And, it's all your fault," he said as he dropped the gun onto the ground, almost in slow motion.

Olivia was confused, but then figured it out when he started to come at her. She ran, ignoring the fire she felt in her calves. When he tried to jump on her, she quickly pulled herself out of the way.

The fire in Anthony's eyes grew. "Get back here, bitch!" he shouted as Olivia began to run. As she did, he grabbed onto her ankle from on the ground. She went down hard. As Olivia lay there, trying to re-catch her breath, Anthony began to pull his way over to her until he was on top of her.

"When will you learn, little Olivia? No one escapes me, no one. No one will ever be one up on me," he said.

Olivia stared at him, somewhat frightened. She then pushed her free hand into her pocket, and grabbed out her cell phone. She dialed the number so that Anthony wouldn't be able to see her hand.

She pulled the phone up to her ear slowly. "Yes, 911? This is Detective Olivia Benson. My husband is attacking me. I need help," she said.

When Anthony saw this, he began to freak out. He stood their, giving Olivia the dirtiest look she had ever seen. He then grabbed the keys to his car and headed for the door.

As he reached the door, he whispered, "It's over Olivia. It's all over," before he stepped out of the house, and out of Olivia's life.

Olivia smiled. "Thanks Elliot. I think he's finally gone."

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

When Olivia went to work, she felt like a humongous weight had been lifted off her chest.

At work, they had just finished the Martinez case, and things were coming in lightly. So when Captain said they could go home at 5, that put it into perspective that things were coming in lightly.

When Elliot as driving Olivia home, he noticed that this was the happiest he had ever seen her since she got married.

"So, would you like to join Jeffery and me for dinner?" Olivia asked.

Elliot shrugged. "I don't want to feel like I'm intruding," he said.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Oh, yes, Jeffery will definitely mind. He'll be so angry. Elliot, come over. It'll be fun. Besides, I don't want Jeffery to easily see that dear Daddy Anthony isn't coming back home right away. I want to break it to him slowly. If you're there, maybe it'll distract him," she explained.

Elliot frowned. "I don't know," he said, still debating. But he made up his mind and pulled into the driveway. "Not like anyone at home is going to miss me," he said.

Olivia smiled at him comfortingly. 'God, I love her smile- wait, what am I doing? I can't do this. This is awful. She's my partner.' Elliot screamed in his mind.

When they walked inside, Olivia paid the sitter she had hired and the sitter left. She picked up Jeffery. "So, what'll we have for dinner today, huh Jeff?" she said.

Elliot smiled to himself, looking at how much the two loved each other. He had always felt a connection with Elizabeth more than any of his other children. Now, he hadn't seen her in over 6 months.

"Jeff, you wouldn't mind if Elliot joined us for dinner, would you?" Olivia asked, walking back into the living room.

Jeffery shook his head with a smile. "No," he said happily.

"Is pizza all right?" she asked from the kitchen.

"No problem," Elliot answered, picking up a picture that sat on a small table near the couch.

It was Olivia and Anthony on their wedding day. Olivia looked amazing. Her shoulder length chestnut hair was pulled up. The white dressed contrasted nicely with her olive toned skin.

Elliot placed the picture back down. What was he doing? As much as he hated to admit it, he felt like he was falling in love with his partner.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

The night went extremely well. Elliot had to admit it; he had a lot of fun. When Olivia went to put Jeffery to bed around 9:30 (it was a late night for him), Elliot figured that was his cue to go.

"Where are you going?" a voice said when he began to pull on his coat.

"I figured I should go. I came to help Jeffery and he went to bed," he said, trying to hide everything.

Olivia looked hurt. "Oh, okay. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at work," she said quietly.

She opened the door. Elliot swore to himself many times for letting himself leave as he began to walk out.

'I have to do it,' he said to himself. He stopped as he entered the apartment hallway. "Olivia?"

Olivia's eyes sparked. "Yes?"

'I can't do it' "Uh, thanks for dinner," he said as he made his way out.

If he had known what was going to happen later that night, he may have thought twice before leaving and told her the truth.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

Mwahahahahaha! How do you like that? Once again, I have left you hanging. So, I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please review. That's all I going to say!


	7. Chapter 7

I'm back. I can't believe how many reviews I have received for this story. I only have 6 chapters, and yet I think I'm up to 170 reviews. That's, well, amazing. I guess that this was a good idea. Anyways, here is the chapter.

O – O – O – O – O – O

Elliot walked out of the house and down the steps of Olivia's house swearing to himself. He should have said something. He could have said it right there and then. Maybe she would have admitted it too.

As Elliot began to drive home, he began to laugh. Who was he kidding? Olivia wasn't in love with him. She probably didn't think of him more than a friendly partner.

But Elliot could not help but feel guilty for the break up of her and Anthony's marriage. He was the one who caused Olivia to get hurt that night he went over, he told Cragen which caused Anthony to leave. Maybe things could have worked out between Olivia and Anthony if he hadn't interfered.

This was impossible. Elliot's brain was beginning to hurt from all the thinking. As he unlocked his door, he sighed. He was going to be forced to be a single man forever. He grinned as a picture of Munch came into his mind.

Elliot dropped his coat onto the small couch in his den and headed into the kitchen. He pulled down a shot glass and opened the fridge. Pulling out the half empty bottle of vodka, he knew that this wasn't the answer to his problems, but it sure would help.

Before he could stop himself, Elliot was completely wasted. The bottle was long gone as he watched TV. He drowned his thoughts and worries about Olivia in some cheap vodka. It felt like it helped.

When the clock struck midnight, he knew he had to get to bed. Already dreading the impending hangover, he groaned as he pulled the blankets down before getting into bed.

When he shut the light, he wondered if Olivia actually considered him to be a friend. Were they more than partners?

Around 3 am, Elliot's cell phone, which was on his nightstand, rang. He opened his eye slowly as his head pounded. He opened it and looked to where the number was usually listed. All it said was 'blocked number'.

"Stabler?" he answered.

All he heard was loud breathing.

"Who's there?" Elliot said as his patience begin to get thin.

"Is this Elliot Stabler?" a low voice said.

"Yes. Can I help you?" Elliot asked.

More loud breathing.

"WHO IS THIS!" Elliot shouted.

"Watch your step," the voice said lowly. Then, there was nothing.

Elliot hung up. 'Probably some immature teen playing pranks' he thought to himself before getting back under the blankets and drifting back to sleep.

O – O – O – O – O – O

The next morning, Elliot overslept. He groaned when he saw the clock next to his bed. He made a quick call to Cragen before stumbling into his bathroom. He took two Tylenol for his headache before stepping into the shower.

After his shower, he felt a lot better than he did before he woke up. He was only about a half hour late for work, which wasn't that bad.

But when he got into the department, he knew something was wrong. He couldn't place his finger on it, but he knew something was wrong.

Then it hit him; Olivia wasn't in work. Elliot bit his lip nervously. 'Calm down, she's probably sick,' he said to himself. But even Cragen, Munch and Fin knew something was wrong.

Around 4:30, a very worried looking Cragen stepped out of his office. "I think something's wrong. When Olivia is sick, which happens maybe once a year, she calls in around 7:30. I just called her house, and the phone is dead," Cragen said.

Elliot felt his breath catch in his throat. His heart stopped. "Are we going to do something?" Munch asked somberly.

Cragen stood there for a moment pondering before saying "You three go on over there. If she's sick, fine. If something's wrong, find out what it is," Cragen said.

The three nodded. Cragen must have detected that something was wrong if her sent all three of them out.

After the three of them got into Elliot's car, the ride to Olivia's house was uncomfortably silent.

Elliot parked in the driveway. "Oh god," he said through clenched teeth.

"What is it?" Fin asked with a distressed look on his face.

"Do you know who's car that is in front of us?" Elliot questioned.

Fin's eyes went wide when he realized it was Anthony's. "Shit," Fin muttered.

All three jumped out of the car. They ran in. The door…was open.

When they did go in, Elliot tried to turn the light on, but nothing happened. "Power's dead," he said.

"Phone cord's cut too," Fin said as he held up the sliced cord.

Elliot went into Olivia kitchen looked around.

"Guys, I think I found something," Munch called out.

Fin and Elliot ran over to where he was. Lying spread eagled on the living room floor was Anthony. Elliot crouched down. A handgun was clutched in his hand tightly. It went with the bullet hole that entered his skull. "He's dead," Elliot said.

"Span out through the house," Elliot ordered. Fin nodded and went towards the bedroom before Munch went downstairs. Elliot went into Jeffery's room. When he stepped into it, he felt himself gag. The room had been torn apart.

Elliot felt his stomach fill with worry. He tried to keep hope alive, but it just didn't work. On the ground in the corner, Elliot found the young boy. The boy had been stabbed repeatedly in the stomach. Elliot easily saw the outline of the blood on the carpet. Elliot placed two fingers under his jaw to check for a pulse.

When there was nothing, he felt his heart crash. Elliot picked up the small toddler in his arms, who moved limply. But he had no idea how bad it would be when he saw what was next.

"Elliot," he heard Fin call from the doorway. Elliot slowly turned. In Fin's arms was Olivia. She was in her bra and underwear, but her skin was stained with blood. Long cut were all over her skin.

"Is she alive?" Elliot said as a lump in his throat began to form.

Fin's head dropped to the beautiful woman he was holding in his arms. "…

O – O – O – O – O – O

Ha ha ha ha! That is probably the worst cliffhanger I have ever left you with.

I am so sorry I had to kill Jeffery. It was really hard for me to, but I had to. Please don't yell (dodges old fruit being thrown). You'll find out later in the story.

Thanks for reading and, as always, make sure you review!


	8. Chapter 8

I am finally back from my break to recover. I thank you all so much for keeping me in your thoughts during my time of need. So, your present is a chapter! Yes, here it is!

* * *

Elliot shuddered at the sight. He was staring at his partner/best friend/woman who he had newest feelings for. He tried to say something to Fin, but it seemed as if his vocal cords had been clipped.

Elliot took a big breath. "Well?" he asked. He tried to sound unaffected, but he failed miserably as his voice out like a whisper.

Fin looked at the young woman in his arms. "She's alive. I'm not sure how long she'll last though. We need a bus," Fin replied.

Elliot went to grab for his radio, but he forgot about the young boy still residing in his arms. "Munch!" Elliot shouted.

"Yeah?" he shouted as he joined them upstairs.

"Call for a bus," Fin said as he carried Olivia down the stairs. Elliot followed as John spoke into his radio. "This is Detective John Munch. We need a bus immediately to 36 Parker Street. Officer down," he said harshly.

Fin gently laid Olivia on the hard wood ground, followed by Elliot lying Jeffery down next to her.

Fin's eyes opened widely as he saw it was Olivia's son. "He's dead?"

Elliot nodded grimly. "Anthony stabbed him a minimum of 10 times," Elliot answered, having a hard time saying it.

Fin shook his head in disgust. "Why put a three-year old child through something like that? Especially if you're his father," he spat the last part out.

Elliot thought to himself 'If you're Anthony Ackerson.'

* * *

Soon after the medics rushed in, Jeffery Ackerson and Anthony Ackerson were pronounced dead. Olivia was strapped onto a stretcher and put into the back of the ambulance. Elliot rode along with her with Munch and Fin following after they called the precinct.

As the ambulance worker began to tend to Olivia, Elliot found himself staring at her. Who could do something like this?'

The dark red cuts slashed across her olive toned skin were taunting Elliot. Since Elliot was the last person with her before Anthony came back. He could've done something. He should've done something.

He was her partner. He was supposed to protect her on the field and the same with her. It shouldn't stop there, though. Olivia was his best friend. Wouldn't she have done the same for him? He hoped she would.

This was his fault. All of it. Olivia's son was dead and Olivia was on the brink of death because of him.

The ambulance screeched to a halt, bringing him out of his thoughts. As Olivia was brought out, Elliot jumped out of it in a daze. He stood there for a moment, unsure of what he should do.

Soon, Cragen approached him. "Are you okay?"

Elliot shook his head to get himself out of this mood. "Yeah, just…" he trailed off.

Cragen looked at him. "Why do you feel guilty?"

Elliot was amazed. "How did you know that?"

"You don't hide your emotions very well. So, why?" Cragen said, blocking Elliot's way into the hospital.

"Cap, I was over Olivia's house last night. I was the last one to see her before this happened. I should've known. I could have stopped all this," he mumbled quietly.

Cragen placed a hand on his Elliot's shoulder. "Elliot, there was nothing you could've have done to stop this. Anthony was bastard. If you had tried to stop him, he would've killed you and Olivia."

Elliot nodded. "I've got to go in there."

Cragen shook his head. "I don't want you in there right now. You're emotionally unstable right now. Just let things calm down for now. Gather your thoughts. Come in after about 15 minutes," Cragen ordered.

Elliot was a little angry, but he understood. He knew he'd be a complete mess in there. Cragen turned and walked in.

Elliot stared at the hospital for a while before his phone ringing interrupted. "Stabler…Elizabeth?"

Oh, this had got to be the worst day of his life.

"Um, I'm okay. How are you sweet heart?" Elliot said, trying to hide the sadness in his voice.

"Where am I? Uh, I'm out," he said nervously.

He hoped that would be enough. But when the voice quickly changed from Elizabeth to Kathy, he knew it hadn't.

"Elliot, is something wrong?" Kathy asked, her voice surprisingly compassionate.

"Uh, uh, yeah," Elliot stumbled.

"El, I've known you for almost 20 years. I know that when you're upset. What's going on?" she asked.

Elliot paused. It was going to be extremely uncomfortable telling his ex-wife about this.

After Elliot had explained everything to Kathy, who had listened compliantly, she offered him some suggestions and some comfort before letting him go. Elliot checked his watch impatiently. Luckily, he had spent 25 minutes talking to Kathy, so he headed into the hospital.

After asking around, Elliot found his way to where Olivia was. Cragen was talking to the doctor while Fin and Munch stood behind Cragen listening.

Cragen saw Elliot and said something to the doctor. The doctor was a young African American man. "Uh, Dr. Jameson, this is Elliot Stabler, the man I told you about earlier. Elliot, Dr. Jameson has some questions for you."

The doctor beckoned for Elliot to come into the room with him. Elliot looked over at Olivia lying on the bed. The young man turned to Elliot and shook his hand. "Detective Stabler, I know some of these questions will sound very odd, but we need to know. Were you in any way intoxicated last night when you were at Detective Benson's house?"

Elliot shook his head. "No."

The doctor nodded. "So, you remember everything?" Elliot nodded. "Okay, just wanted to make sure."

Elliot was confused. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you asking me that?"

Dr. Jameson sighed before looking at Olivia. He then slowly turned back to Elliot. "I'm sorry that I have to be the one telling this to you. We have reason to believe that Detective Benson was sexually assaulted by her husband after she passed out from blood loss."

Elliot felt like he couldn't breathe. This- this wasn't happening. "So- so you mean she was raped?" he croaked.

Dr. Jameson frowned before nodding. "Yes, unfortunately she was."

* * *

**Two Weeks Later**

Elliot sat in the small chair in the side of the hospital room. Usually it was either Munch or he sitting here. Fin had asked not to because he didn't think he could handle it to tell her everything when she woke up.

They were assured that she would make it through, but they just didn't know when. So an alternative cop was hired to be on call for Olivia, and one for either Munch or Elliot.

Elliot didn't care about not working. He had hoped he could've just stayed here the whole time, for he would never leave. But Cragen had intervened and made sure that he wasn't spending every single day here.

It was going on 9, and Elliot was beginning to fall asleep. He had talked to Dr. Jameson about a half hour ago before sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chair.

As he closed his eyes, he realized that he was beginning to let go of all the feeling of anguish he had been holding towards himself. He was hoping that they would leave him soon.

"Elliot?" a quiet voice said, waking Elliot as he began to doze. Elliot opened his eyes, to see Olivia peering at him.

Suddenly he was wide awake. "Olivia, oh my God," he said as he walked over to her, feeling completely euphoric.

She smiled before staring at him, as if waiting for him to tell her something. "Where is he?"

"Anthony? He's dead." Elliot said smiling.

Olivia shook her head. "Not Anthony. Where is Jeffery?" she asked.

Elliot smile fell off his face. He bit his lip, trying not to make eye contact with her.

"No, it's not possible," she said.

He turned to her. "Liv, I'm sorry," he whispered sympathetically.

She began to cry.

"I know that this is extremely hard for you right now, and I want you to know that I am here for you. But…there's something else that you need to know," Elliot trailed off.

Olivia peered at him for a moment. "What? What else is there?"

"After Anthony stabbed you and cut you, he raped you," Elliot replied.

Olivia face fell. "Doesn't surprise me."

"You've been unconscious for two weeks. When a rape kit is performed on a conscious victim, they give those pills that make sure that nothing comes out of it. They aren't permitted to give them to a patient who hasn't given them their consent." Elliot explained, trying to keep away from the subject as much as he could.

"Elliot, what's going on? What aren't you telling me? Please, just tell me. Nothing you say could hurt me more than I am now," Olivia pleaded. Her chocolate eyes were scared.

Elliot cursed to himself as he realized that he was going to have to be the one to tell her.

"Olivia, I'm so sorry. I am."

Olivia shut her eyes and prepared herself for the worst.

"Olivia…you're pregnant."

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

X – X – X – X – X – X – X

**Two Months Later**

Olivia sat on the bench in Central Park, the soft breeze ruffling her hair. She looked around, seeing happy older couples walking holding hands, young teen love on roller-skates, and, worst of all, sweet married couples pushing children in strollers. She felt a small lump in her throat, but the burning in her eyes forced her to push in away.

It was a beautiful Saturday in April. Olivia was trying to shake sad thoughts from her head, but she just kept thinking of the things she could have been doing if…she didn't even want to think about it.

It had all happened so quickly. She was out of the hospital. Next she had to go to the funeral. After she had to go back to work. Following work, she had a mental breakdown and punched a suspect after he said he'd love to smack her around. Images of Anthony filled her mind, and the next thing she knew, she was on top of him. As Elliot pulled her off of him, she felt herself breakdown.

After many psych sessions with Huang, she was forced to take a break from work as she was deemed 'mentally unfit to serve'. She was placed on desk duty with no interaction with suspects until a psychiatrist said that she was secure enough to return to working.

She placed her chin in her palms, wondering what happened to her. She used to be so strong; so tough. But in the last few months, everything had fallen apart. Before, she was unbreakable; nothing would hurt her in any way. Now, she was vulnerable at anything.

Elliot Stabler stared at his partner from a distance. Her eyes still held the sadness that came into play that day at the hospital. She was just a shell of the Olivia Benson she used to be after Jeffery's death.

He slowly walked over and sat down next to her. She jumped, startled by him. "Elliot, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter," he replied. "Olivia, you know it breaks my heart to see you like this, don't you?"

She quickly turned away. "Elliot, I still don't want to talk about it."

"Liv, look at me," he pleaded. She slowly turned at met his gaze. "It's been almost 3 months since all of this happened. You haven't spoken to anyone about it. You need to, I can tell," he prodded.

She shook her head. "I'm fine. I am doing just great." But even with a hint of confidence in her voice, he was able to hear the wavering in her voice.

He gave her a weak smile. "Liv, I've been your partner for almost seven years. I can tell when you're lying."

She turned and glared at him. "You have no idea what this is like," she spat.

Elliot stared at her for a moment. "I can't say I have. But you know all I want to do is help you," he answered her.

She continued to glare before she stood up and began to stalk off. He let her go, knowing sticking to her would make her more austere.

Fuming, Olivia began to walk faster. How dare him! She can take care of herself. She doesn't need someone to talk to.

Elliot doesn't know a thing about losing a child, or being raped by your own husband, or even carrying around a child that was given to you without your consent. He was just an ex-husband and father who always had to be nosy.

If you happen to be upset, or angry, or even annoyed, Elliot has to worm his way in to get it out of you. But, heavens, if you try the same thing on him, he'll probably punch you!

Her walk became faster, as her thoughts followed. They were supposed to be partners. He was supposed to understand that she needed help her way. She wasn't going to do anything else. Elliot of all people should know that.

She then began to slow down. How could she be foolish? How could she actually believe that he would leave? And to think, she actually felt safe, considering he still had a key into the house. The nightmares just kept filling her mind.

She was getting undressed, when there was a loud bang on her bedroom door. Figuring it was Jeffery, she re-buttoned her top and opened it. She was only half-right.

Anthony was standing there with Jeffery. A knife was placed on Jeffery's throat as the young boy sobbed uncontrollably.

Anthony stared at her grinning menacingly. "Olivia, I'm not that easy to get rid of. You never called the police."

Olivia swallowed, looking for words. "Anthony, just calm down. You and I, we can talk this out. Just put the knife down and let Jeffery go. He's our son. This has nothing to do with him."

He chuckled. "Olivia. I don't care. You screwed me over. I lost my job. I'll never be able to be a police officer again. I've lost all my dignity. And after this, you're going to turn me in right away. If I'm going down, I'm bringing you down with me. And if you don't want to lose your son, you're going to do exactly what I say."

She raised an eyebrow. "Anthony, we don't have to do it like this. We can handle this so no one gets hurt."

His maniacal grin grew larger. "That wasn't the right answer."

Before Olivia could react in anyway, the knife flew from Jeffery's neck to his stomach. Screams filled the house. Olivia didn't know they were hers until Jeffery started cough. Blood covered his Elmo pajamas.

Anthony stabbed him again, before letting go of him and letting him crumple to the ground. He began to scream for his mother as blood seeped onto the carpet.

Olivia began to cry as Anthony started to slice her arms. He placed the knife an inch into her skin and just slashed away.

"Does this hurt Olivia? It should. This represents nothing. I'm going to make you suffer so much you wish you were never born. I was the perfect person. All you had to do was obey me and my wishes. You should've learned. I don't like to be ignored."

Olivia was trying to comfort Jeffery, who was staring to grow quieter. Olivia stared at Anthony, wondering what she had done to deserve something like this. With one final blow, he jabbed the knife into her abdomen and twisted it before taking it out. Blood splattered onto her arms as he whipped it around.

He then walked back to Jeffery. Olivia, who was unable to get up from the blood soaked bed, watched in horror as Anthony continued to stab him. Olivia grimaced as she saw the knife being shoved into her son's body, wanting it to be her there. Soon, the toddler became quiet, and then finally limp.

As Olivia's vision began to waver, Anthony picked Jeffery up, who flopped in his arms like a doll.

"You made the wrong choice Olivia," he told her before she collapsed.

The next thing she knew was Elliot was staring at her. She then found out her son was dead, her husband raped her, and she was pregnant again.

Olivia pushed all those memories out of her head, but Jeffery's screams stuck in her mind and wouldn't resist. She should have tried harder… She should have gotten up… She should have figured it out… She should have done the right thing.

'Face it Olivia. You screwed up so badly. You let your son die in front of you without moving a finger. It's your fault he's dead.'

Olivia gasped. She had never thought about this before. Whoever gave her this thought was right. It was her fault Jeffery was gone. Now, she had no one.

Tears filled her eyes again. She needed someone…anyone. She needed someone to hold her, to tell her it was okay. She needed Elliot, needed him more than she ever had, and she had pushed him away.

She felt a hand on her shoulder as she wiped tears away. She turned around, and the one person she needed wrapped his arms around hers and rocked her back and forth, kissing her hair and trying to calm her...to get rid of her nightmares.

X – X – X – X – X – X – X

Yeah, that's where the title comes from. Interesting, right? It's such a complex and unique title. Anyway, it's Monday night, and I am counting the hours until tomorrow nights episode. I'm going to be up all night tomorrow, watching it over and over (thank you, DVR!)


	10. Chapter 10

Wow, long time no write. I haven't posted anything that I haven't ended up deleting in almost 6 months.

I'm not going to continue in the path that I was planning on because some people didn't like it. Instead, I'm just going to finish this story and use that idea for either a sequel or a new story. So, this story will be finish up in few chapters, and then it will probably be a long time before I can get another story out because a.) I want to finish off another one of my stories, and b.) I'm really busy now that school started.

I hope that you like this chapter better.

X – X – X – X – X – X – X

The sky was shade lighter than black. An occasional rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance.

Olivia stood over the grave, with her eyes shut, hoping maybe it would change if she wished hard enough.

Today was supposed to be Jeffery's birthday. He would have be four today.

Placing her hand on her stomach, she felt reminded one of the only reasons why she was here; that and Elliot. The baby was coming in four months. Her apartment was all packed up and ready to move out into a new place that she hadn't managed to find yet. Elliot was helping her, but it wasn't working yet.

As Olivia looked down, the skies burst open, unleashing thick drops of water on her, for she was the only one in the cemetery. The rain covered her within in a few minutes, but she didn't wipe it off. The drops on her face mixed with her tears, making her feel better.

Her sobs grew louder and more violent, shaking her entire body. Her hair was plastered to her face and her clothes soaked as she shivered but she didn't care. She was supposed to be at work in an hour and a half, and she would be sopping wet, but she didn't care; as long as she had been here.

She took a deep breath to try and calm herself. The rain began to come down harder, and she could no longer see more than a foot in front of her. She was freezing and the parking lot was a good quarter of a mile away. She wrapped her wet arms around herself before looking at Jeffery's grave one last time. She had promised herself that she wouldn't become obsessed with visiting it all the time.

"You didn't think this through, right?" someone said from behind her as an umbrella was placed over her head.

She turned and saw Elliot Stabler, who was one of the only people she could trust now.

"How did you know I was here?" Olivia mumbled as she wrung water out of her hair, and then her thin sweater.

"I knew what day it was. You know, this probably isn't good for the baby," he reprimanded, being the good fatherof four. He didn't see his kids, but he was still a good dad. He then handed her the umbrella before slipping off his jacket and placing it on her shoulders.

She thanked him softly. As they began to walk, he turned to her and said, "Liv, you've got to let it go. You couldn't have prevented it any way."

"How do you know that?" she asked. Elliot wasn't able to answer that question. She smiled weakly. "I'm not trying to be mean or anything. I'm not even sure that it's Jeffery I'm upset about."

Elliot stopped walking and turned, facing her. "Olivia, what are you talking about? What's going on?"

"I think what's happening is that I don't think I'm strong enough to take care of the baby. With Jeffery, I just didn't take care of him when he was a baby; Anthony and I did together. And then having a new baby in my life will just bring reminders of Jeffery. Plus, not having a father in their life will impact his or her life. I know it did with mine," she explained.

Elliot had had no idea that Olivia felt this way. "So, are you saying you no longer want the baby?"

Olivia looked down at her feet. "I visited an adoption agency the other day. Nothing has been set up, but I just it to have want a happy home, not a single mother who's a workaholic, and who was raped by her estranged husband who ended up killing his own son before killing himself."

Olivia looked so fragile, so breakable. Elliot wanted to take her away from the world that could hurt her in any way. He wanted to do anything that could help her in any way. Most of all, he wanted to tell her that he was falling in love with her, but he knew he couldn't do that.

Wait, do something to help her. Exactly.

"Olivia, I know this may sound a little odd and intruding, but I think you should keep the baby. Don't give it up," Elliot said as a smile began to grow

Olivia looked extremely confused. "What? What are you talking about? That is exactly what I don't want to happen. It wouldn't have a normal life, let alone a normal family. Who would be the father?"

Elliot's smile disappeared. He paused for a moment. "What would you say if I offered to be the father?"

Olivia's eyes grew. She was speechless. She tried to say something, but nothing would come out. Elliot always knew the ways to help her to save her. He was always there for her when she needed him, and she loved him for it.

"Are you joking?" she asked. Elliot shook his head. "Well, honestly, I'd have to say that I'd really like it. I mean, if that's what you really want."

"Of course it is. Olivia, you and my job are basically the only things I have left. I would help you in any way that I could."

Olivia smiled. "You have no idea how much this means to me Elliot," she said as she wrapped her arms around him. Their quiet yet passionate embrace was interrupted by the all too familiar ring of the cell phone.

They pulled apart as Olivia pulled hers out of her damp pants pocket. "Benson," she answered. "Yes, ha ha, very funny Munch. Yes, I'm very wet, thank you. Yeah, we'll meet you there. Bye." She then hung up her phone and put it in her pocket.

"What was that about?" Elliot asked.

"You know that case we're working on? Well, Captain thinks something may be happening today so he wants us back at the stationhouse as soon as possible."

Elliot nodded and they began to walk back in silence. Elliot gripped the umbrella tightly in his hands. He wanted to tell her so badly. He wanted to take her in his arms, hold her tightly, and kiss her until he couldn't breathe.

Like Elliot thought he was a psychiatrist and always knew when there was something wrong with Olivia, she knew something was bothering him. She just didn't want to ask him because she knew then he would throw up his guard. She just knew it had something to do with her.

"Do you just want to come in my car and after work I'll drive you back and get your car after work?" Elliot asked softly.

Olivia nodded. She had to thank Elliot in some way. She needed to do something to cheer him up. Most of all, she needed to do something that expressed her feelings... her true feelings.

Right now, she felt euphoric, like she was on top of the world. And she had Elliot to thank for it. Basically, whenever she was happy, it was because of Elliot. He was always there, even when she was upset. And she needed to let him know she appreciated it greatly.

She felt like she needed to something she had never done. As Elliot walked around to the other side of the car with her and opened the door with the umbrella over her head. She turned to get in the car, but stopped and spun around. She then grabbed his collar and pushed her lips onto his.

Instead of being awkward or surprised like she had expected, he dropped the umbrella and wrapped his arms around her waist. Her arms stretched gracefully up on his neck as their tongues dipped into each other's mouths.

The rain, which had soaked Elliot now, trailed over their faces and tickled their lips. When they broke apart, Elliot looked at her strangely, but there was a smile on his face. "Why did you do that?" he asked quietly.

"Because I knew you wouldn't, and I couldn't wait anymore," Olivia responded, the confidence and courage back in her voice. And at the moment, Elliot knew he had his old Olivia back. She grinned as he pulled her close before their lips met once more.

X – X – X – X – X – X – X

As Elliot and Olivia walked into the stationhouse thinking of everything that happened this morning, they had a hard time keeping a straight face.

When Elliot, Olivia, Fin, and Munch were called into Cragen's office almost as soon as they got there, they knew it was serious. But not too serious.

"Why are you all wet too? I thought you would be nice enough to bring her an umbrella," Munch accused Elliot. Olivia looked at Elliot. Both of them opened their mouths to make up some kind of excuse, but Cragen came in just in time.

"Okay, I just received a call from George Washington Bus Terminal saying that Gitano placed a money transfer and will be there in a few hours to pick it up. So of course, we will be there to meet him," Cragen explained.

"But what it he's got the kids with him?" Fin asked.

"We'll be disguised as civilians. Then, when it is the appropriate time, we'll move in. Okay, does everyone understand?" Cragen repeated. They all mumbled responses. "Okay, that's all." As they began to exit, he changed his mind and called Elliot and Olivia back into his office.

"Now Olivia, as you know. New York State Police policy is that when female detective approaches the fifth month of pregnancy, she can no longer be 'on the job' and must stay on desk duty. At seven months, you are allowed to leave work altogether. Now, today can be your last day out there, or you can skip today altogether. It's you and your partner's choice. Just let me know so I can call an alternate."

Elliot pulled Olivia aside and grabbed her hand. He took a deep breath and looked her in the eye. "I think you should skip this day," he whispered, firmly yet tenderly holding her hand.

"What?" Olivia asked. "Why?"

"This maniac is obsessed with blood, and pain, and guts. If for some reason he finds out you're pregnant, you're the first cop down. I don't want anything to happen to you Olivia. I can't let anything happen to you again…especially since I may have been able to stop the last one," Elliot said before looking away.

Olivia remembered how Elliot felt responsible for Anthony's attack. She placed her other hand over his and smiled. "Elliot, look at me. Nothing you could have done that night would have stopped Anthony. He would have found another way, or he may have killed you too, and imagine the mess I'd be now. You need to trust me. I can take care of myself. I know I can. You just need to trust in me."

Elliot stared her for a moment before nodding. "Okay, I guess I can trust you."

"Besides, what's the worst that can go wrong?"

X – X – X – X – X – X – X

Well, that is probably the most romantic thing I have ever written in my life. Who doesn't love a romantic, unexpected kiss that also happens in the rain between two amazing detectives? I think this was the perfect time too. Tell me what you think.


	11. Chapter 11

"**This maniac is obsessed with blood, and pain, and guts. If for some reason he finds out you're pregnant, you're the first cop down. I don't want anything to happen to you Olivia. I can't let anything happen to you again…especially since I may have been able to stop the last one," Elliot said before looking away.**

**Olivia remembered how Elliot felt responsible for Anthony's attack. She placed her other hand over his and smiled. "Elliot, look at me. Nothing you could have done that night would have stopped Anthony. He would have found another way, or he may have killed you too, and imagine the mess I'd be now. You need to trust me. I can take care of myself. I know I can. You just need to trust in me."**

**Elliot stared her for a moment before nodding. "Okay, I guess I can trust you."**

"**Besides, what's the worst that can go wrong?" **

* * *

"Elliot! Oh God, how could this have happened?" Olivia cried as she knelt beside her injured partner. 

She held his hand as she felt it becoming cooler. "Elliot, please, hold on. Don't leave me, please," Olivia said as she placed her head into his shoulder as the tears began to soak his coat.

The blood was starting to soak both of them.

Olivia looked at him, into his eyes. His eyes were dull and glassy. He lifted a weak hand and placed it on her cheek. As she felt it, she felt a punch of guilt in her stomach...

_Gitano was holding the two kids against him. Ryan and Rebecca looked as if they wanted to run, scream out, but they couldn't because of the fear in their eyes. This monster, held a grip on them more than his hands._

_When he realized that he wasn't going to get out of here alive, he knew he had to take someone down with him. And the first person he saw was a pretty young cop with a slightly round stomach. Perfect._

_He let go of Ryan, pushing him into the crowd. Pulling Rebecca up onto his shoulder, he made his way over toward her. _

_She saw him, and the fear lit up in her eyes. That was the best part about what he did. The reaction that he caused in people. _

_She aimed her gun at him, but it was shaking uncontrollably. He grinned at this. _

_As her eyes went to Rebecca, he delivered a kick to her hand, sending the gun flying in the air. _

_When she realized she was defenseless, she began to talk senseless things. He kept grinning, knowing how she was trying to make herself seem stronger, but actually she was trying to beg for her life._

_As he grabbed her gun, he knew this would be sweet._

_While Gitano aimed the gun at Olivia, she closed her eyes. This was it. The end of her, the end of what she stood for. And she didn't get a chance to get anywhere with Elliot, to tell him how she truly felt._

_The boom was deafening. _

_When Olivia finally opened her eyes, she knew something was wrong. She had felt something hit her and she went sliding, but she wasn't in any pain._

_She saw Fin tackle Gitano. Then, she saw Elliot._

_Something hit her and got her out of the way. Something like her partner, who was lying on the floor of the bus terminal, gasping for air as he looked at the deep wound on his shoulder._

The minutes felt like hours as she waited for EMT to come and get Elliot. She laid her head down and began to cry more.

"Liv, come on, we gotta get him in the bus," Fin said as he gently pulled Olivia off of Elliot.

Fin tried to take her away from the scene, but she fought against him. She had to be there, in case…

She watched as they loaded him into the ambulance. She was about to climb in when Fin pulled her out.

"Olivia, don't. I'll drive you," he told her softly.

"But what happens if he needs me. What happens if I'm not there for him? What if…?"

"Liv, you don't need those pictures in your head too. No one does," Fin responded as she let him move her to his car.

* * *

As the entire SVU squad minus one sat in the waiting room, Olivia knew all of this was her fault. He had felt responsible for her rape, her pregnancy, and death of Jeffrey. 

Knowing Elliot all too well, she knew what must have been racing through his head at that moment. Seeing Olivia with a gun aimed at her, no protection available. Without thinking anything through, he jumped and pushed her out of the way.

It felt like she had been there forever. What was taking so long? Why weren't the doctors telling them anything? Was something wrong?

Olivia sat in the plastic chair for hours, wanting something to happen. Was Elliot alright, or not? It was a simple question.

Around 5:00, Dr. Beresford walked out to them. Cragen greeted him. Olivia, Munch and Fin stood up and walked over to where the two of them stood conversing.

"Cap, Doc, what's going on with El?" Fin asked.

Dr. Beresford turned to the three detectives. "We managed to remove the bullet. Lucky for Detective Stabler, it missed any major organs," Beresford explained.

"Is he going to be okay or not?" Olivia barked.

Dr. Beresford sighed. "With the adequate healing and care, he'll be fine. He'll always be a little stiff in that shoulder, but he's going to make a full recovery.

Olivia stopped listening after that point. All the mattered to her was if Elliot made it or not.

As she backed up and lowered herself into a chair, she knew everything was going to be okay.

Looking back over the past few months, she couldn't believe it. She'd lost her husband, her son, almost died, was raped and became pregnant, and almost lost the only man she loved with all her heart.

Taking a deep breath, she got to her feet.

She couldn't look back on that anymore. She wouldn't allow herself to. She had a new child coming into the world, and she was finally with the man she had wanted to be with from the start.

When she walked into Elliot hospital room and saw him, still breathing, she felt better than she had in the past years. She was finally happy.

* * *

**Blech. I hated it. **

**It was too dramatic, but I needed to end it. It's gone on for too long. I lost my passion for this story. **

**Anyway, let me know what you think. I didn't like the ending, so I doubt you will. :(**


End file.
